But what happens when you lose touch with one or more of your friends and it bothers you? What if YOU seem to be the only one who initiates contact? Should you take it personally or be sad about it? Well, that's complicated too but ultimately, it depends on how much you want to continue to be the only one making the effort to keep the friendship going.
Having moved MANY times in my life, I have made many friends, from all walks of life. Through having my shop, I have met more people than I can remember and some of those customers have become friends.
But even with all of these friendships, there have been times in my life that I felt alone....maybe it felt like that because a friend didn't seem to call me as often (or at all) as I called. Or maybe I felt like it wouldn't be fair to anyone to dump my problems on them and so I remained quietly to myself, dealing with my own hardships or sadness.
If you are lucky enough to still live where you went to school and have friends who still live where you live, I am a little bit envious but realize that I wasn't mean to remain in one place forever. I have experienced a certain amount of travelling and living in different places, being in different marriages and relationships and I kinda like that about me. It has been interesting so far, I must say.
But that can make it difficult to stay in touch with a friend you made in high school or collage or even a workplace. Like you, they are busy with their own lives and hardships. They have made new friends where they are so the need to reach out to you may be diminished or even completely gone.
Being sensitive doesn't make it easy to deal with "lost" friendships, especially when you are going through something where you really could use a pal to help you get through the hard times what ever they may be.
If you are a loner, and are comfortable with your own company, you may not feel the need to have a lot of friends but it is always nice to have at least one true and fulfilling friendship, aside from your spouse. Your spouse won't always understand your dilemma, being from a different species and all.
I sometimes feel like I am the one who reaches out to friends more. But that is the way I am. I think a lot and act on my thoughts. For example....if I am thinking about a particular friend and some fun times we had, I will often be prompted to email or pick up the phone to make contact with that person, only to realize that they are not in the same place or thinking the same thing at that moment. And I must accept that because to be hurt by another person's behaviour is a no-win situation. You cannot control what another person does, only how you act.
Some friends you don't see for a long time but when you do reconnect, you can just pick up where you left off, as if no time has passed. Perhaps these friends are not meant to be in your daily life or even that often but remain in your heart forever.
So, if you ever feel like you have no friends.....you do. It's just that they are temporally disconnected, to quote Bill Murray in "What About Bob". Try not to feel bad about it.....and just get busy doing the things you love to do or need to do. Hug your spouse or play with your cats. Create something, bake something or watch a movie you love. Go for a walk. Practice your photography. Tend to your garden. Read a book. Go shopping. Clean your oven.....anything that gets your mind off the feeling of loss. Before you know it, you will be so fulfilled and busy, you won't have time to feel sad about that elusive friend. And maybe you will make a new friend.....you just never know what is around the corner. Isn't that exciting?
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